Surgery

I just heard that a woman who attends my church just had surgery for Crohn's Disease.

That sucks.

It made me reminisce when I had my surgery in 2005. I had been severely sick for four years prior with no relief. In 2005 an abscess formed on the outside of my abdominal wall. I couldn't keep anything down, not even water. I was vomiting constantly. After seeing my PCP he referred me to a surgeon because he felt a hard lump on my lower abdomen. The surgeon immediately admitted me to the hospital and the testing began. The resolution was to drain the abscess. I was wheeled to Radiology where the radiologist would insert the drainage tube.

That wasn't fun.

He injected me with ink or whatever to make my insides glow or something then he injected me with a numbing solution so I wouldn't feel him jab that tube inside my gut.

Yeah that numbing stuff didn't work.

It hurt like hell.

When he was finished the nurse wheeled me into the hallway and I started crying. She asked if I was ok and I responded ever so lightly "that hurt". She apologized but I knew it wasn't her fault. Before the numbing solution even had a chance to take effect the radiologist jabbed the tube in. I was so friggin upset.

I was taken to my room and waited. The stuff was draining. I was in pain still. After one night I was sent home hoping this would solve the problem.

At home there was no comfort- I couldn't lay down flat, I was stuck in the living room recliner. I was so uncomfortable. At night my cat (whom I love dearly) that always sleeps with me decided to jump on my lap. Boy was that a mistake.

I screamed aloud "SONOFABITCH!" and sent him flying across the room. I felt bad. But my abs felt worse.

That morning I was still sick, not getting better. I think I was due for a check up the next day at the surgeon's and he saw I wasn't getting better so back to the hospital I went. More testing. Another abscess found. But this time it was further down in my pelvis. Surgery was the only option.

I remember the nurse prepping me and giving me whatever medicine to make me sleep.... "Start counting backwards from 100..." I obliged. I think I got to 97 and was out. I wonder why they want you to count backwards from 100? Hmm.

I vaguely remember awakening for a moment when they were moving me from my gurney to the operating table. Yes I seen the bright light. I wasn't dead. It was the stinking operating room lights for petes sake. No out of body experience here. I quickly fell back asleep and I'm pretty sure I had a dream. Couldn't remember what it was about though.

Afterwards while I was being awakened I remember mumbling something or the other while the nurse was moistening my eyes and lips. I felt quite drunk. After coming-to it felt like I was hit by a truck. I was a total mess and my whole body ached and was in pain. My lower back was killing me and I had no idea why. I told the nurse about my lower back and she was sure why I was in pain in that area. The only reasons she gave was either a) I was laying funny on the operating table or b) gas was moving through where the surgeon had to use a balloon to see what he was doing.

All I know is that I was in pain.

I was in the hospital for two weeks because I kept running a fever.

The doctor wanted me up and walking every two hours. That was no fun. But I was grateful because I did recover quickly. I remember one of the nurses I had- she was Ukrainian. There is just something about a person with an Eastern European accent that you just *do* what they tell you. At first she always barked at me, "get up! it is time to walk! lets go!" I was reluctant but obeyed. At the end of my stay she told me how proud she was and how well I was doing. That made me happy.

When I finally stopped running a fever and everything had drained properly, it was time to remove the drainage tube. The nurse came in, told me what we were going to do, prepared the bandages, and told me to take a deep breath and brace myself.

That didn't sound good.

"Brace myself"????

Really????

I took a deep breath, but "bracing myself" did not prepare me one iota for what was going to happen. She yanked that tube out and before I even knew what was happening I screamed aloud. I surprised even myself and looked at the nurse in shock. She asked me if I was alright, and I managed to muster out "yeah". That whole mess was over before it even started which I was grateful for.

After getting home and working through the last bit of pain I felt like a new person. Sure I was missing two feet of intestines (the surgeon found that the original plan of just sticking a drain tube like before would have killed me since it wasn't another abscess- just my intestines swelling into a ball) removing the "diseased" portions and reconnecting me, I was in no more pain from the Crohn's. I gained weight. I felt renewed.

The next few years were good. Every now and then I go through some "issues" but other than menstrual cramps I have no more pain. I attest that to God and changing my eating habits.

More on that later....

Dear Food: I love you. Don't hate me.

So I'm going to stray a little from the blog formula I have been trying to follow... (I've been trying to chronicle the events in order, but I'm scatterbrained.)

Over Labor Day weekend Brandon and I left my son with my mother and we took off to Buffalo NY to see family and eat lots of wonderfully good and fattening Buffalo food. Only in Buffalo will you find REAL pizza (New York style has no substance! Just sayin'...) REAL wings, and REAL sub sandwiches amongst other foodstuffs you can only find in Western New York.

I ate a lot.

And it was good.

For the most part the food behaved itself in my intestines. Or better yet, my intestines behave themselves. Its my digestive tract that is the hater in the relationship...

We stayed with my 90 year old Grandmother and my Aunt (on my dad's side) which I am so grateful for, they have been nothing but supportive in my life and have always tried to take care of me, but here comes the rant:

I know you all care about me and care about my health but please, let me take care of me. I've done all the research, heard all the advice, the suggestions, the stories, etc. etc. etc. I'm the one who has had to "deal" with this for ten years. Yes, my family has had to stand there and watch me go through it, but for a sickness, disease, anything going on internally there is only so much another person can do. You can't go in my body and change stuff around. I have to take care of it. So let me.

Please do not judge my choices or decisions in how to handle my health. I like doctors, for the most part, I've even had a few that actually CARED about me, but what is that old saying? Don't put all your eggs into one basket. Conventional medicine is fine short-term, sometimes it is needed to get stuff under control. But you must treat and heal the body as a whole! Why do we think we can just treat one symptom at a time as it comes along? And why the hell is it not right to treat a DIGESTIVE disorder with DIET?

A doctor once told me that it didn't matter what I ate.

Hell it does!

I don't buy into the magic pill- there is no one cure-all pill- because if you take one pill you will have to take another to counteract the side effects of that one and it becomes a domino effect. There are a lot of diseases that CAN be treated with diet and heaven forbid exercise.

Now listen.

I'm not a medical doctor. Thank God. But I am a person who has struggled with Crohn's Disease for ten years, has had 2 feet of intestines removed, and been on a lot of medicine that did not make the problem go away. Because hello: Crohn's and Colitis are chronic disorders. They don't go away by themselves, and especially with the medicine out there today. Remissions and Flare-ups. That's the waxing and waning of IBS. Oh hell- IBS is something doctors tell you because they don't know what the hell is wrong with you.

I had surgery because I had a "bad side effect" of the medicine I was on for treatment! It made me sick, created abscesses in my intestines. I guess I got out lucky, because these corticosteroids can cause cancer, liver damage, Hepatitis.... the list goes on.

While talking about these things over breakfast in NY my cousin tried to lighten the blow by adding that even if one person has a side effect from a medicine they have to put it on the label. Well sure. I agree- but I don't see how I need to be dependent on these man made chemicals that could possibly kill me.

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Let me try to get back on track.

I have no medical insurance. No one will cover me because of this. Supposedly in 2014 insurance companies HAVE to accept me. But geez that is like being a lonely kid at a playground and the other kids are made to play with you because their parents said so.

Yeah we'll see how that goes!

With my income at >10K a year (combined with Brandon's it's >20K) plus a child, I make too much money for Medicaid. When I was a stay at home mom and Brandon made >15K we still made too much money for me to be on Medicaid! One suggestion was to quit work so I could possibly get on Medicaid. I'm sorry, my pride is too big, I will NOT ever be on Welfare in order to gain a crappy health plan offered through the government.

So I started educating myself in natural remedies. I mean, why not? We live in a society filled with processed food that is chock full of chemicals so it can sustain months and years of being on delivery trucks and grocery shelves. How does that seem remotely healthy?

While watching a documentary, an overweight family complained that unhealthy food is cheaper than healthy food. Well damn, budget your money- STOP eating so much, lose weight, your stomach will shrink, and you won't feel so hungry anymore. Plus, that processed food with all those chemicals gets you addicted. That's why its hard to stop.

"OH but that is so hard! It's so easy to say that! But it's so hard!"

Stop your whining and start taking care of yourself!

Everyone does too much sitting around and eating food rather than being active. As human beings we used to have to forage and hunt for food. Our foraging now consists of walking the aisles of Walmart. Now that's exercise! *sarcasm*

I'm one to talk- I hate exercise. Being anemic doesn't help. I would love to exercise and be athletic, but I get tired too quickly. I have to take it in turns.

I'm changing my lifestyle. I shop at the farmers market more often, I eat more healthy foods, I take vitamin supplements and I am not in any pain. I still have problems in my large intestine and rectum, as if you must know, you should, because shit happens.

Funny story:

I was in the restroom at work when some other co-workers came in and one says "it smells in here!" HELLO. It's the bathroom- shit happens. I wonder what it would be like if our feces smelled like flowers? Then I think people would be more willing to talk about their bowel movements....

"Man let me tell you! I had a good BM this morning! Smelled like lilacs! Made me want to stay in the bathroom all day...."

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Beef that is 100% grassfed does not give me gas like processed meat from the grocery store does.

Thats a winner in my eyes.